


Spades to Start

by BossToaster (ChaoticReactions)



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Games, Gen, Poker
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-18
Updated: 2017-06-18
Packaged: 2018-11-15 19:02:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,941
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11237250
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChaoticReactions/pseuds/BossToaster
Summary: When you teach an Altean how to play poker, they'll want to play a game-And that will just end poorly.





	Spades to Start

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally written for the Project: PALadins gen zine. It was written pre Season 2

“I believe I understand the rules,” Allura told Shiro seriously.  She was staring down at their deck like she was trying to make the cards catch fire with her eyes

...Shiro hoped she couldn’t actually do that.  

“You sure?”  When Allura nodded, Shiro leaned back in his chair.  “How about you, Coran?”

He flapped a dismissive hand at Shiro.  “I could play this in my sleep.  Very similar to something I enjoyed in my youth.”

Well, okay, then.  Shiro glanced back at the rest of the room.  “Anyone interested in a round of poker?”

Pidge perked up over the back of the couch, glasses catching the light and lips curling up.  “What are we betting?”

Frowning, Shiro eyed her.  “Money’s not worth much here.”

“We could bet chores,” Lance offered, trying for innocent and falling far short.  “Give it some stakes.”

Hunk sat up, suddenly looking interested.  “Yeah?  Actually, that’d be good.  I’m in if we do that.”

For a moment, Shiro did some mental calculations, trying to decide how badly this could bite them in the ass.  Probably not badly enough that he needed to care.  If they fought over it, they could deal with the consequences themselves.  “Alright,” he allowed.

Pidge’s answering smile and Hunk’s gleeful whoop made Shiro feel like he’d made the wrong call.

Ah, well.

“Keith?” He called.  “You in?”

Picking his head up, Keith frowned.  “I don’t know how to play.  I can just watch.”  Everyone turned to look at him, and he frowned under the combined stares.  “What?”

Pidge leaned her chin on her palm and smiled at him, slow and wicked.  “You should definitely play, then.”

“I’ll teach you while we’re playing,” Hunk offered, looking at least mostly sincere.  “You’ll pick it up pretty fast, it’s not complicated.  Mostly it’s about getting multiples of cards, or a few in a row.

Keith frowned at them both, then glanced at Shiro, head tilted in obvious question.

Smiling, Shiro nodded.  “You’ll be fine.  Go ahead and play.  You learn better from doing, anyway.”  

Besides, Shiro knew something about Keith that the others only had hints about, so this was probably going to go differently than they thought.

Shiro would take his kicks where he could get them.

“I call dealer!” Lance called, already taking a seat next to Shiro.  He snagged the deck of cards and started to shuffle.  The cards went down in clumsy clumps, and Lance frowned down at them in frustration.

Sighing, Shiro snagged them back and shuffled smoothly, cutting the deck and folding it back together several times.  And because he rarely got to show it off, he may have thrown in a waterfall shuffle or two.  Then he handed it back.

Lance tilted his head.  “Been practicing with the hand?”  Shiro nodded.  “Cool.  Okay, everyone sit.  We’re playing Texas Hold ‘Em because we’re civilized, dammit.  And I’ll be keeping track of the bets.”  He snagged up his pad and opened up the recording software, then set it down openly on the table.  “No one’s getting out of their bet except in cases of emergency.  We good?”

Folding her hands delicately on the table, Allura gave them all what was probably supposed to be a sweet smile.  Except that her teeth had shifted to be pointed.  “I think we all understand perfectly.”

“Alrighty,” Lance replied, and he started to deal the cards.  Once everyone had two, he leaned back and hooked his arms on the back of his chair, watching with open amusement.

Really, calling dealer had been the smartest move anyone had made all day.  Shiro sighed and shook his head, amused.  Then he looked at his own cards.

An 8 and a 10, both of clubs.  Not the worst start.  Shiro kept his face carefully neutral and leaned back, glancing around the table.

Hunk had bad cards. Shiro didn’t even need to see them to know that.  He was gnawing on his bottom lip like he was trying to chew it off, and his nose had a hint of a crinkle to it.  Which was unfortunate, because knowing Hunk’s head for numbers, he was probably one of the best at calculating percentages and probabilities.  That lack of a poker face was going to ruin his chances for anyone paying attention.

Leaning over, Hunk murmured to Keith, who barely glanced at his own cards before shrugging and putting them down.  He turned to Hunk, nodding along without looking like he was absorbing what was being told to him.

Pidge watched them with sharp eyes, then went back to staring over everyone’s heads at the far wall.  She crossed her arms and kept her expression blank as possible, which made her look mildly annoyed.  And Shiro knew without a doubt she would be keeping track of the cards, because Commander Holt had always done the same.  

Next to her, Coran tapped his cards against the table, and Shiro wasn’t even sure he’d actually looked at them.

Allura didn’t bother pretending to be aloof.  Maybe it was backlash against a lifetime of projecting royal dignity, but she just grinned at them all, teeth still physically sharp.  When she noticed his gaze, she tilted her head and leaned back in a way that screamed ‘predator’.

Shiro arched a brow back, unmoved.

“Alright, first bets.  Hunk, you’re up first, then around clockwise.”

“Oh!”  Hunk started and turned around, then looked at everyone’s expressions.  He winced.  “I fold.”

Keith worked his jaw, considering his own bet.  “Dusting the healing pods.”  As a once every two week bet, it was fairly conservative.  When Keith glanced between Shiro and Hunk, looking unsure of himself, Shiro nodded back.  Good opening bid.

Pidge didn’t look away from the spot she’d locked her eyes on.  “Washing up after dinner for rest of the week.”

Shiro tilted his head, considering Pidge.  Well, that was worth much more.  A bluff?  Pocket face cards?  Hm...

“You wanna match that, Keith, or do you fold?” Lance asked, drawing out the last word with just a hint of a tease in his voice.

Keith shook his head.  “Nah, I’m good.”

“I’ll match,” Coran agreed, still tapping both his cards in a steady, fast beat.

“Two weeks,” Allura called.  “Starting from today.”

“In,” Pidge agreed instantly.

Keith glanced at Hunk and got a shrug in return.  “Same.”

“Hmm....  No, nevermind,” Coran replied, shaking his head and placing his cards down.  “We’ll see later.”

Shiro did one more scan of the room, then mentally shrugged.  He could deal with dishes.  “I’m in.”

Nodding, Lance dealt the next three cards, all face up.  The seven of clubs, ace of hearts and the eight of diamonds sat on the table.

Shiro stayed stock still as he considered.  The seven was very good, and he had a two pair.  At least one person on the table was bluffing, he was certain.

“Keith?”

“What’s the word for staying the same?” Keith asked Hunk, who mouthed back ‘call’.  “Yeah, that.”

Pidge tilted her head, eyes narrowed.  No, squinting.  Why was she squinting?  Shiro turned to face the way she was looking, but didn’t see anything but the room.  Until he ducked his head to her slouched height.  Then he could see the reflection of his side of the table from the back.

Including the cards.

“Pidge folds,” Shiro called, turning around before he could see anything specific and arching a brow at her.  When she opened her mouth to object, he crossed his arms.  “And she’ll be moving to this side of the table.”

Scowling openly, Pidge slapped down her cards.  “Fine.  Not my fault you weren’t paying attention.”

Allura frowned disapprovingly at Pidge, then narrowed her eyes at Keith.  “I raise you feeding and cleaning up after the mice for a week.”

Oh, that was playing dirty.  Okay, she was almost certainly bluffing and trying to scare Keith and Shiro off, then.  Or she was trying to make them think she was.  One or the other.

“Call,” Keith replied, shrugging.  “Why not?”

Shiro considered for a moment.  Dishes he had no problem with, and the mice were smart enough to be neat.  But that didn’t mean cleaning up after them was pleasant.  Still...

Well, mostly Shiro wanted Allura to stay in.  He had a suspicion about what was going to happen.

“I’ll call as well,” Shiro replied, expression still perfectly calm.  Allura narrowed her eyes at him, clearly trying to figure out his game.

Well, good luck. She’d been the one to pick him out as the Black Paladin.  Considering the skill set, he’d be willing to believe a good poker face came with the deal.

“Okay,” Lance replied cheerfully.  “Next card.”  It was the jack of hearts.

Damn.  A two pair probably wasn’t going to be enough for this, and a third 8 was unlikely on the last card.

Keith shrugged.  “Call again.”

Scowling, Allura pressed her lips together.  “Same for me.”

“I fold,” Shiro replied, putting down his cards and folding his hands in his lap.

Lance looked between Allura and Keith, openly amused.  Then he placed down the last card.  It was the queen of hearts.

Lips curling up, Shiro settled back and waited.  Maybe it was technically a long shot, but he knew what was going to happen, now.  All the way to his bones.

“Call,” Keith replied, sounding almost bored.

Allura narrowed her eyes.  “I raise you hosing off the lions after the next mission.”  

Hunk’s breath caught, and he turned to Keith.  “Um, are you sure...?”

“Call,” Keith repeated, no less ruffled.

But then Allura beamed at him and flipped over her cards.  She held the jacks of diamonds and spades.  “Three of a kind,” she announced, lips curled up.

Ah, so it had been that she wanted them to think it was a bluff.  Interesting to know for later.

“Um,” Keith muttered, flipping over his cards.  “I had five in a row.  Is that better?”

Keith had a royal flush.

Shiro burst into laughter.  “You brought this on yourselves,” he told them all, pushing back onto the two back legs of the chair.  “Keith is the luckiest person I know.  I’ve never won so much as a dice roll against him.”

“What?”  Pidge sat up, brows furrowed.  “That’s- that’s not how it works.  It’s probability.”

Shrio just shrugged, as Keith started to carefully write down all his ‘get out of chores free’ cards.  “I can’t explain it. Some things are beyond science, it seems.  Like the castle.”

Beaming, Lance watched Keith tally up his winnings.  It seemed when everyone else suffered instead of him, he had no problems with Keith being the ultimate victor.  “So, round two?”

“Hell yes,” Pidge replied.  “I don’t believe in luck. It’s all statistics.”

“I’ll play another round,” Coran chirped.  

Shiro grinned as Lance started the next game.

It didn’t matter how many rounds they played, though.  Keith always, always came out on top.  And he was very difficult to convince to fold.

“I don’t understand,” Hunk muttered, watching wide-eyed.  “How is that possible?”

“Magic,” Shiro replied blandly, just barely managing to keep his poker face.

The game continued for several hours, everyone trying their best to get one crack through Keith’s sheer luck.

“Well,” Shiro mused to Coran.  “At least we know no one here will ever give up the fight.”

Nodding, Coran rubbed his mustache.  “And if all else fails we can just put Keith in a pod and float him into Galra territory.  They’ll probably shoot each other to extinction before they manage to hit him.”

“Let’s not do that,” Keith called, expression bland.

Shiro smiled reassuringly.  “Of course not.”

It was last case scenario, anyway.


End file.
